I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
