I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
