You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
