I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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