i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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