sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
