Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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