This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
