I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
