eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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