Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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