I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
