and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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