Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this beer tastes like vomit already
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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