I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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