My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
