I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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