My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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