All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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