can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize