It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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