He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
