fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
