i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
