My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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