Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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