Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
