I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
