I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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