come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
