So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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