My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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