It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
