well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
