he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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