So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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