Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
