I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
