So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
