we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
