C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
