cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
