Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I love you.
Bad choice
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
