everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
