Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
