Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
