BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
