At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
