SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
