i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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